Karen Roberts

Arriving in Tel Aviv on Sunday morning, Jan.11, 2015, our adrenaline seemed to be keeping us awake and alert as we boarded the bus. Our first stop was Mt. Scopus, on the outskirts of Jerusalem. It's difficult to find words to describe my feelings as I overlooked the city. It felt surreal. In some ways it looked exactly how I had imagined it, the light sandstone, the rolling topography, the antiquity. I had envisioned more dust than puddles, but it had recently rained (and snowed). I had seen images of Jerusalem all my life. It wasn't a disappointment. It was larger and more spread out perhaps. Cluttered looking from afar. Busy. Domes and steeples dotting the skyline. Laundry hanging from clotheslines. I spent the next few days reconciling the Jerusalem in my head, the setting of childhood Bible stories, the ancient city of Jews, Romans, Christians, with this lively Middle Eastern cosmopolitan city of honking horns that mixed the modern and the ancient.

The entire week was a mix of contrasts and discovery. Whenever you travel you learn things about yourself. I loved Israel. I loved having everything planned out for us. I loved learning, thinking, challenging, drinking, walking, running, being with my husband, spending time with long-time friends and making new Micah friends. Not having to cook.

Visiting Israel gave me a greater sense of what it means to be Jewish. The complexity and many dimensions of Jewish identity. I am not Jewish – I married into the faith and culture. It gave me a greater appreciation for being American, for the progress we have made regarding tough issues in the 238 years that we've been a nation. It made the state of Israel look like a teenager, a newbie. We aren't there yet; how can Israel be?

Did I feel a spiritual connection to the Holy Land? I was actually somewhat surprised to find that, no, I didn't. I thought it was very cool to be on the same cobblestones that ancient peoples walked...to sit on benches in a theater dating back 2,000 years. To think that John the Baptist baptized Jesus in that river alongside our bus, that Abraham and Sarah were buried in the Cave of the Patriarchs...but I didn't feel a greater spiritual connection to God. I appreciated the historical significance of where we were, but the spiritual significance didn't deeply resonate with me. Only when I crammed my prayer list into a crevice of the Western Wall did I feel spiritually moved, but I think that had to do with my personal emotions combined with the religious devoutness surrounding me.

Jeff and I waited in line to visit the Temple Mount, wanting to see for ourselves this real estate that was so sacred and controversial. Non-Muslims were allowed to visit from 7:30 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. and from 12:30 p.m. to 1:30 p.m. No religious items or practicing was allowed by non-Muslims. As we walked through the security point I could be thankful I wasn't an overtly practicing religious person, my prayers are all in my head so no buzzers were set off. I appreciated the beauty of the Dome of the Rock and the al-Aqsa mosque and we took many pictures. The grounds were littered and patchy and it was difficult to imagine this as the site of the First and Second temples, and the cause of so much bloodshed. Is there any other place in the world that is the cause of so much anguish? It certainly looked beautiful but benign on this Monday.

To be so close to Lebanon, Syria and Jordan impressed me. Closer than I will ever be again. Our evening meal with Leah and Menachem and the Brunos in the settlement of Efrat was one of the nicest evenings of the trip. As Jeff said, we could have been having dinner with Jews in New York City. It was an evening of intelligent conversation with warm and caring people. Leah and I have e-mailed. We don't discuss the legality of settlements; we do joke about introducing her young friend Harry to our daughter Alyssa in D.C., as Leah says, "Anything to distract Washington from the Hullabaloo over Bibi's upcoming visit!!!​"

Whether or not that distraction happens, I can say that this trip was a once in a lifetime for me. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to learn, explore and enjoy. It deepened my understanding of myself and of the Middle East. Both are complicated, one's a little more violent than the other (and older), neither are easy to figure out.